Thursday, October 2, 2008

September

What weird month for me. I spent the month exhausting myself, trying to validate me. The thing is, I don't need to. I am me and that's all that matters. I am a mother. I have a job. The pay stinks, but I am needed. When I was chasing my validation, I was pushing my agenda not my passions. I wanted to say, I'm Kelly, the student or the school bus driver or whatever. I gotta say, those are just words that don't actually change what or who I am. See, in some ways, I'm living my dream. All I wanted to be when I was a kid was a wife and mom. Guess what I am? See, that's living the dream. Now I'd like to add a few things to that and I can. I need to add things that fit. My kids need a mom full time. It is a noble, exhausting, frustration, underrated, underpaid profession but they say the grandchildren are worth it. I do have a part time business that I can work that won't hurt my family and will be good for me. So work it I shall. I will also keep making those lunches that come home half eaten. (That really bugs me) I will keep cleaning up after the kids. I will keep trying to get eternal messages through the thick skulls of my kids. They say that pays off too!
There is a great song out there called "I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli. It's my song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAxLTUt_qzg

3 comments:

Charity said...

Good for you, Kelly! Hang in there. :0)

Aimée said...

Sounds like your in a better place now that you've gone through all that. Thanks for sharing!

T said...

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts!! and knowing that so many of us feel the same things.... you should be writing more.