I'm sitting here alone (again), watching the brilliant lightning and having the thunder startle me out of my skin. I ponder my future. My life will be at an odd place in the fall. I will have 6 hours per day to myself. Yes, I will still need to manage my home and family but that won't take all that time and I will get very bored if I don't use my mind. You can only go for so many coffee's and lunches before it would fail to stimulate. Options are a weird thing. How exactly does one deal with them? I don't enjoy making life changing decisions. I don't want to waste time or money. That adds it's own pressure. You'd think by now I'd know what I'd want to be when I grew up! I do sort of, but I have a priority in my kids. Eight years of University is out of the question. I'd love to become an amature athlete, not much money in it though!
I have some options, I could go to the college and study human kinetics. I would like to take anatomy and physiology and chemistry. Biokinesionics is really fascinating too! I'm sure you can see my dilemma. Do I have what it takes to be a mom and full or even part time student? Why can't they have dance or gymnastics for mom's during the day while the kids are at school? I think for now I'll just watch the storm and leave the thinking for another day.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
OK lay on the guilt. I haven't had any inspiration as of late but I have been feeling how neglectful I have been. Yes, I have been breathing and surprisingly, ranting to 'real' people! Spring is here and I have been spending a lot of time outside and school is really busy. Paul was home late week and we thatched, aerated and seeded our lawn. He was very industrious. It was really sunny and hot. Now it is really cold and rainy. I will be writing later on. It isn't good to write when I'm uninspired. It's really hard on my reputation!