BellyWoman Write's Again

Musings of a Deep Thinker

2011-10-16T17:01:00.000-07:00

Ha! You may not know this, but when I think, it is very deep. So deep I often can't verbalize what it is that I have concluded. Some thoughts just don't go away and must be thought completely before they will leave me at peace. There is a reason for this. God wants me to grasp something that I need to know.

Something very powerful is happening in our world these days. Everyone feels it. Not everyone understands what it is about. It is the stirring of a revival like we have never seen. There is a very powerful stirring happening in the youth and young adults around me. There is a boldness that I sure never experienced as a young person. I was always kind of embarrassed by the fact that I went to church (a weird one) and a Christian School. I was odd. I felt odd. I hated feeling odd. Now I'm use to it. I have embraced my oddness. It is inevitable.

In light of what I have observed, I have been pondering my role. I could feel really left out that I'm not on the cutting edge of this fiery passion. I don't. I see that it is something for the younger ones. My role is different.

Acts 2:17-18 comes to mind as I think these deep thoughts.
¹⁷ ‘In the last days,’ God says,
‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your young men will see visions,
and your old men will dream dreams.
¹⁸ In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on my servants—men and women alike—
and they will prophesy.
(Just for the record, I'm not an old man. I'm not an old woman either. Considering that it the days that this was written, I would have fallen into the old woman category, I feel comfortable about using this for the purpose of formulating deep thoughts.)

I see the Spirit being poured out on all of us. I see it in my teens. I see it in my sister. I see it in my younger friends. I see it in my church. More over, I feel it in my spirit. It is more real than anything else I know.

I have concluded that my part in this amazing movement is that of a mentor. (Ack! Me being responsible! Egads! What is this world coming to?) Over my years of going to that weird church and Christian school, I have learned a ton of sound stuff! I might not know much about popular culture, but I know a heck of a lot about Christ Culture. I'm over feeling dumb and left out because I'm not up on the latest band, star, what have you. That won't get me anywhere and I really could care less. ( I didn't really care about the latest, but I did care about not knowing my own generation's information.)

I have been pondering this stuff for a couple of weeks a least. Today in church, the question was put out there for me, I'm sure of it. "What are the three top things you would like to be equipped in?" Guess what? I already had the answer for one of them. When does that ever happen? I'm not generally so prepared! Woot woot! Since this was put out to the home groups, I really don't need all of the answers, one will do!

I am finding that I am content when I am moving in the direction that I am called to. A huge step for me was leading praise. I've been part of the team for years. I used to in the weird church, but that was different. I KNOW that is what I am designed to do. I KNOW that I am to learn to hear my Father's voice so that I know without question what He is saying to me. The reason Jesus was never wrong is he KNEW his Father's voice. Imagine never having prayer unanswered, saying the right thing to someone at the right time, being His voice to those who haven't learned to hear it yet. Powerful. Not power to me, but glory to Him. Witness that makes Him undeniably awesome. Now that rocks!

Freedom

2011-02-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

Last night there was an event. This event was not inspired by man. This was straight from the Father's hand. He called it, God of This City. It was His design. It was a night of inter-church praise and prayer.
About a year and a half ago, God put this night into the heart of Heather. She talked to her pastor and the timing was not right. Fast forward a year or so to a new pastor with the same dream in his heart. This dream was to break down the differences between local churches and bring us together.
I did not know Heather. I had met her, but never interacted with her. I too have had a burn for praise and church interaction.
Fast forward yet again. My friend, Karl, has worked with Heather before. She asked him to lead one of the praise teams. He asked me if I would sing. In a heart beat! Even at our first practice, I could feel "something". This was going to be amazing. As things progressed so did the the level of "amazing". I don't mean we were amazing, while we are good at what we do, it wasn't us. It was the Lion, He was on the move. I could feel Him.
My life had a bunch of things that all came to a head this weekend. Paul's shop was relocating. I was starting a new job. We started a new worship team for church and it was our turn to pick all the songs and organize it. I had the contract to clean the shop Paul's business was moving into. My life was so busy. My kids were feeling the pinch. To top it all off, we got the flu. I was in survival mode. I would have been there anyway without the added experience I was given.
It was really weird. While there is a huge learning curve in my job, I have been remarkably at peace. I have been catching on to things rather quickly (I think, you'd have to ask my co-worker to be sure!) God totally gave me this job. If God be for me, who could be against me?
With Paul's shop moving, we were out almost every night cleaning. The kids were home sick for an entire week. I had no down time. I felt like I was barely hanging on. Thursday night we went to our Home Group. We love our group. We have amazing people that speak into our lives and the lives of our kids. I went only because I had missed two weeks and didn't want to miss another. While there, I was miserable. The discussion was not stimulating to me. I just wanted out. Finally it was over and Miriam asked if they could pray for me. They knew this Event was coming. So they prayed for me. I was under attack spiritually. I too had gotten the flu and was afraid of losing my voice.
This has been an issue with me for years. Every time I had an opportunity to expand and sing and share, I got sick. I was getting quite angry about this. I know that I am called to sing and praise my Father. I was crying out that He heal my voice for real. A singer without a voice just doesn't work.
Anyway, back to Home Group, they prayed for me and I felt a bit of a release. I left my voice in God's hands and tried not to worry. Fast forward to Saturday morning worship practice. I was in a very bad state. I can't even really describe it. Miserable, weighted, weary. This begins to describe it. I wasn't nervous or scared or worried about singing. That would come later, but isn't a bothersome thing. It's part and parcel for the job. At the end of practice, Cheryl came to help me out. I kinda broke down. Paul, our pastor Brian, and Cheryl prayed for me. Finally, whatever the heaviness was, it was gone. I was limp. I was drained. I was empty. My voice was on the brink of leaving.
People talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. The bottom of the barrel I was scraping was so polished, there weren't even any splinters left. The good news was, there was no more of me in the way at all. The only way I would make it though that night was if God filled me up. That requires stepping out in Faith.
After sound check, I came home and took a nap. When I woke up, I was still empty. I wrote a note to some of my friends and my sister, people who I know would support me and pray. It's not like this Event wasn't already well prayed for. It was. For each praise team, there was a prayer team. I just needed that little bit extra.
So to the Event I go. Butterflies were kicking in. We were the last team scheduled. We did a practice run though and went down to pray. There were about 40+ people involved in make the Event happen. We went down to pray together to for the night. The incredible power just in that prayer alone was more than I'd been exposed to in a very long time.
As the last team up, I sat in the crowd. Before we started, Heather opened with "permission", if you will, to worship God as we saw fit. Freedom in the spirit. What a gift. At first I stood. I wasn't singing in an effort to save what voice power I had. Eventually I sat and let the the Almighty Waters wash over me. It was in at theater so it was dark and no one was looking. Tears streamed down my face. I made no effort to stop them. Freedom.
After one team was finished, I went out to the foyer. Tamara, a sweet, broken-hearted 13 year old I know and love, was sitting out there with her back to the doors. I went and hugged her. I asked her why she was sitting out there all by herself. She said, "Truthfully? I have never cried like that in a service before." I hugged her tighter and prayed, prayed words that could only have come from God. She hugged me even tighter. You've got to understand this girl. She has been betrayed by the one man on earth who is suppose to be a real life example of God to her. He has broken her heart. As protection, she has hardened her heart. Show no deep emotion, and no one will hurt me. She was out there trying to regain control. She clung to me. I brought her back in and told her to cry and let God heal her heart. I gave her to a good man who would not hurt her, Paul. He hugged her and was there.
Through all the WORSHIP I tried not to sing. I could still feel that weakness in my throat, threatening disaster. I still surrendered and worshiped, just not with the gift I have been given.
One of the groups sang, "I Exalt Thee". This song is one that has been simmering in the back of my heart for awhile. I let loose. I gave it everything I have. At that point, I decided that if I was to lose my voice, I would lose it praising my Father. Praise Him I did. With everything I had. Finally, I was being fill again. At some point after that, I realized that the scratch in my throat was gone. He came though. He did promise.
I have no idea how we did as far as how was the "performance" would have been rated. Good news. I really don't care. I know I have been nourished like I've not been nourished in a very, very long time. I know that I loved seeing Karl leading and doing what he's called to do. I loved working with others of the same mind and spirit. I love that there was freedom to worship as God himself gave us freedom. There were flag wavers, tambourine whacker, Indian dancers. Those aren't my cup of tea, but it was theirs. They were free too.
My children were there. This was a bit of a new experience for the younger ones since we don't attend a charismatic church. Michael has had more exposure. He understood what was going on. I watched my littles sit for 3 hours without complaining at all. Jamison sat in the front row. He was still. He sat with his head back on the chair and just absorbed. Jonathan just curled up on his chair. You've got to understand, these boys are boys. Sitting isn't something they do. Whether they understood or not, the power was still there and it moved them. Adriana could feel it. She absorbed it.
Michael sat with some friends and they were moved. Bethany, Tamara's sister, was sitting with him. Both were letting the tears flow freely. Until I screwed up. Then she laughed! But that's OK. This was not emotionalism. This was the Spirit of God moving, alive and powerful. Almost an entire row was taken up by youth from the church I attend. They were all fed. That makes me very excited. This is my son's peer group. God is moving IN them. If He is moving in them, He will move though them.
The effects of this night are eternal. After a performance, there is often an empty feeling that comes. All that work and now it's over. I was sort of expecting that last night. It never came. It was still there this morning during church. I could still sing. I fully expected to have laryngitis. I don't. I sang through two services and still could sing. It is nothing short of miraculous. I am so thankful. Words can't describe it.
You see, for months I have been praying that God would bring freedom of worship to me. I'm not sure if it's European reserve passed down though generations, classical training or just plain old fear that makes me like I am. I want to be free to worship effectively in public as well as private. I'm too concerned with how I appear. I don't want to care. I want to be free. Last night a good work was begun. I am becoming free. God heard my heart's cry and he answered. I am hungry for more. That was just a beginning.

2010-11-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

Happy November! November is a month I'm rather partial to. It is the month that introduced me to the world and it's never been the same! In a few days, I will be 38. For some reason that sounds kinda old to me. I'm still younger than my collection of friends, not that it really matters. It's just so fun to rub in! IN just two years, I will be 40. Yikes! I know it's no big deal. I watched my friend Kim and my Sister pass that milestone this year and they seem to be taking it fine. I'm sure I'll survive just fine!
Way back in January, I alluded to certain events brewing in my head. At the time, I was too chicken to say it out loud. In September I picked up the phone and made a commitment. Scary stuff, that phone! I called the lady who is now my piano teacher. I also called the lady who is teaching me music theory, Judy. She's a big deal in my life. Judy was teaching me voice a couple of years ago. It is she who planted the idea in my head. Voice lessons were interrupted when Judy was in an accident that certainly changed her life dramatically. We have kept in touch and I called on her for input into how I should approach this next step in my life. So the big idea is.... MUSIC!!!!! I am pursuing a career in music. My goal is currently vocal with piano teaching after that. Sure wish I had applied myself when I was younger!
I love taking piano. I even like practicing. I look forward to playing really well someday! It is hard work making one's brain do things it hasn't done for years! All those little black notes are harder to read than they use to be too! I am so excited to finally be taking steps in the direction that I know I'm suppose to go. It just feels right. I think everyone is given a talent and a passion that is theirs to nurture. It is in that field that they will find success and a contentment. Now I do need to find a job to support my studies to get me to the point of generating income through music. Later! Gotta go practice.

In lieu of something profound

2010-07-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

Well, school is over finally and we've had our long weekend. And what a weekend it was! I am one of the few adult women who enjoy camping... in a tent! I was uncomfortable and cold and not showered and I loved it. There is something so peaceful about being outside, cooking, eating, playing with the kids or watching them play, playing with fire, drinking "camping coffee", and sitting up late around the campfire watching the flames.

We were invited to a Grand Opening by some good friends of ours. Her sister and brother-in-law have an adventure company, The Outdoor Life Adventure Company. They were offering guided wildlife tours, riverboat tours, and a tour through the Ancient Forest. There was the option to camp. I latched on to that and next thing you know were all camping with the exception of "The Princess". She does not camp.

Friday noon we took off in a small caravan (can 2 vehicles be a caravan?) and drove 160 kms to Crescent Spur where Outdoor Life has carved out a small corner to share with outsiders. The campground is tucked away in the corner of a field with the river on two sides of it. We picked our spots and Paul, Michael and Karl set up camp. We set up a little cook tent too. During this process we kept a wary eye on the other people across the way, one never know what sort of people they might be...

After the inaugural cup of coffee (a "must" with Karl around) and feeding the kids sandwiches to tide them over, we started making supper. We eventually ventured over to the fire. Some of the "other people" were over there. In no time at all we were very comfortably conversing and having a great time with them.

After eating, the kids scattered. Jonathan found a bike and kept himself busy all weekend. Jamison managed to find a hornets nest and got two stings! Adriana went off with the girls and we hardly saw her at all. Much to my joy, there were two boys Michael's age there. He is often the odd man out because he is older than our friends' kids.

Backtracking a bit, Rod, the boat man, took Michael and the two boys across the river to go fishing. They had one radio and I had the other. Two hours passed and it was supper time. I called to the boys on the radio and didn't get a response. So I handed the radio to Paul for him to figure out. Paul could hear them yelling but couldn't get them on the radio. Off goes Rod in search of the boys. Poor stranded boys had gotten over there and the radio had died. A good bonding experience for sure. No fish but they saw a beaver and decided to to eat Dallas if Rod never returned. Never underestimate the ingenuity of hungry teenagers.

After a hefty consumption of s'mores, the kids were packed off to bed. Jonathan had made a bet with Karl and I that if he stayed up until 1:00 we'd each pay him $5. He tried so hard and it wasn't a fair bet since I have the power to send him to bed. When Paul showed up after 12 and made him lay down, he was very upset... and promptly fell asleep.

I made an excursion to answer the call of nature at 5:30 the next morning. It was so peaceful and glorious. I went down by the river and would love to have spent an hour drinking coffee and enjoying the solitude. Somehow sleep called me back to the tent.

There is nothing like crawling out of the tent and being handed a cup of steaming coffee. It didn't exactly happen like that but a girl can dream, can't she?! After a hearty breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon and coffee, we went on our wildlife tour. With five 9-11 year olds, sneaking up on wildlife was a bit of a joke and not likely to happen. I felt like the pied piper. Every time I tried to approach the guide to hear what he had to say, all the kids followed me and I could not escape! I'm sure he was a wealth of knowledge. Paul would know... I just enjoyed being outside walking with all the kids and seeing them have so much fun just "being". We did spot a mamma black bear with a cub while all the noisy ones (Karl and the kids) were lagging behind.

After lunch, we went to the Ancient Forest. I wish I could remember all the scientific information about it, but it was so beautiful and something I would highly recommend. There is more biomass located in that forest than in any other inland rainforest. It is one of only two inland rain forests in the world. The other one is in south america. "Ours" is the more impressive of the two. 5% of the worlds carbon store is in our rainforest. "The Princess" showed up and actually was seen hiking in the forest. Like Michael said, "I haven't ever seen her outside her house before."

While we waited for our last adventure of the day, Paul and I played with the GPS and had our first venture with geocaching. It was kinda fun and we almost missed our boat ride.

The riverboat was a blast! Rod is an extreme sportsman and known for his wild side. He's goal was to make his passengers scream. I think he was a little disappointed in that I was not getting freaked out! It was kinda fun messing with him. Ultimately, he did succeed. I was too relaxed and lost my seat and banged my arm. I confess, I screamed. I'm sure it was the pain...=D

Karl and the kids packed up and left us there for one more night. It rained. The air mattress is now just a rubber flat thing destined for recycling. Adriana and I finally went to sleep in the van at 1:00 AM so Paul could sleep on her mattress and at least one of us would get enough sleep to drive home in the morning. We woke to a wet world, fed the kids what we could without cooking and headed home.

I can't wait to do it again!

Yikes a Mighty!

2010-01-05T17:03:00.000-08:00

It has been over a year since I last posted. I'm sure no one is out there anymore. I have given renewed thoughts about blogging on a somewhat regular basis! Yeah right!

OK, so new year, new ideas or rather old ideas recycled. I have plans for this year that I'm not sure I've ever put into play before. A year ago, I had stated out loud that I wished to teach knitting classes. I love, love, love, knitting! I found out that the owner of the local yarn shop taught classes and had a teacher for them already. I kind of forgot about it early on in the year. I went to the Stitch and Bitch and generally had a good time. The lady teaching is older and has had cancer before and seems to have a reoccurrence. This is sad news. On the other hand, she wanted out of teaching the class. In December I was asked to teach! I was so excited. Still am. Today was my first class. The girls had a great time and the pattern I chose will definitely challenge and expand their knowledge. Whoo, I rock!

OK, this has been fun and refreshing, I should do it again sometime. I'm off to see Jesus Christ, Superstar tonight with my friend B. I have so many other plans rattling around in my brain. I'm not ready to spill yet, but it's coming!

If anyone is still out there , drop me a line and let me know! Thanks, K

Moving!

2008-12-08T21:14:00.001-08:00

We are moving. Seriously, we are moving in two weeks. Five days before Christmas. Who in their right minds would add something else into an already chaotic month? Apparently us! We have been wanting a bigger house for a while. We've seriously outgrown our current house. Paul and I went looking on Saturday and saw THE house and made an offer. We finally had all the kinks worked out by noon today. What a relief! So now I will begin packing like a mad woman and do all the other busyness associated with the blessed Christmas season and on Christmas day my new house will be filled with the delicious smell of Golden Turkey, Pumpkin Pie and peaceful children pleased to be in their new bedrooms, which incidentally they are getting for Christmas! Merry Christmas Everyone!

What's with people these days?

2008-11-28T20:46:00.000-08:00

Honestly! I've been listening to the news today, not something I usually do. What a bunch of IDIOTS! These people pretending to help rule this Country are trying to throw it under the bus! Who in their right minds would in these unstable times, try to pull what they are trying to pull? Come on! I'm no financial genius but like anyone who thinks with their head, I realize that serious things need to be taken care of. Our entire society needs to pull up it socks and become responsible for ourselves. Stop spending just so we can have stuff that complicates our lives. How many TVs does one person actually need? So Steven Harper, who we voted in not once but twice, is an economist. We have had years of Liberal spending and NDP credit card spending. What do you suppose we should do to recover? Who should we rely on to fix our country? We could be a powerful country again. We have so much to offer the world and ourselves. I really want to protest and yell and rant and rave to get some sense into those spoilt politicians trying to destroy this country. I don't want to be answering to China or India. I AM CANADIAN!

My trip to the Dentist

2008-11-19T19:34:00.001-08:00

I'm trying to keep up with my witty friend and fellow blogger, and adopted niece and... I'll stop there. She's really indescribable. www.randomhillary.blogspot.com Anyway, I had to get a filling replaced today. I found out something really interesting. I'm not a nervous patient. I like my Dentist and his team. It is always a good time. Well, except for the part where my mouth is full of hands and I can't be sassy!

Anyway, after he injected the pain killer stuff, I started getting really jittery. Kinda like I was on way more coffee than is good for me. I told the assistant just because my mouth wasn't full of hands yet and I had to get some talking out. I found out that they use epinephrine in the painkiller stuff. Some of it got into my blood stream and made my heart race. The reason for this is that epinephrine shrinks that blood vessels to keep the drugs localized longer for effectiveness. Isn't that smart? I was impressed. Shortly after that, the dam was placed in my mouth and with it they lost their opportunity to teach me.

Windows and Computers

2008-11-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

Windows are and should be pleasant items, or at least a portal to a beautiful view. When Mr. Gates started out, I wonder if he thought about that. I'm sure when he started out he never intended to cause more headaches than he solved. He has made his gazillions and moved on I'm sure. I've heard he and his wife are good people who do lots of great things for people in need. Good for them.

Now, for us. I recently bought a new laptop. It was a nice little laptop. I liked the graphics, the feel of the keys, the new model. I was very excited to bring it home. I had the good staff at Future Shop do the set up on it. I paid about $300 over ticket price for this handy unit. I brought it home. I connected it to the ethernet cable. Nothing happened, unless of course, you count the can of worms that opened up. Nothing was coming up. So I called my own personal geek. Well, not mine per say, my friend's husband. He talked me through several options and nothing worked. He came here on Monday and couldn't find anything. I called my IPS (internet service provider)at least once a day all week long. I made two trips to the Future Shop. I left the computer with them for an hour for testing. No surprise it worked for them. We narrowed it down, it had to be the ISP. Once again I was on the phone with them, sometimes I was speaking to someone in India, sometimes in New Brunswick. The one person I couldn't speak to was the tech. I cannot count the number of times I restarted my computer, how many times I access the command prompt. Nothing worked. Doing the same thing over and over and over gets the same results. It is pointless to tell them that I'd done it all before. At one point I was so frustrated and threaten to call the competition, the genius on the other end stated that they couldn't help because they weren't my provider. Duh! I guess some people have to have everything explained to them.

Finally, I talked to the actual person who could help me from our ISP. We spent 1 hour and 10 minutes on the phone. We did finally break through and got connected to the internet! Yea! oh, wait! I can't use any of the sites I check everyday. No facebook, no Mary Kay site, not even hotmail. Isn't hotmail owned by microsoft? Their own site doesn't work with their software! I finally lost it! I had had enough! Still not sure what took me so long to lose it! I called Gord, the geek, he said, go buy a macbook.

I went to Future Shop and with a firm rein on my fuming temper, I told them what was happening and what I wanted. I could tell that I wasn't believed. Do you know how many times I was told that no one has ever had a problem with Vista and Windows Onelive? Funny, it must just be me!

I am now the proud owner of a macbook. I will never go back. I cannot believe the difference. No setup required.

Only takes a second to start.

Everything works.

No 'thinking' time

Everyone needs a mac.

September

2008-10-02T09:32:00.000-07:00

What weird month for me. I spent the month exhausting myself, trying to validate me. The thing is, I don't need to. I am me and that's all that matters. I am a mother. I have a job. The pay stinks, but I am needed. When I was chasing my validation, I was pushing my agenda not my passions. I wanted to say, I'm Kelly, the student or the school bus driver or whatever. I gotta say, those are just words that don't actually change what or who I am. See, in some ways, I'm living my dream. All I wanted to be when I was a kid was a wife and mom. Guess what I am? See, that's living the dream. Now I'd like to add a few things to that and I can. I need to add things that fit. My kids need a mom full time. It is a noble, exhausting, frustration, underrated, underpaid profession but they say the grandchildren are worth it. I do have a part time business that I can work that won't hurt my family and will be good for me. So work it I shall. I will also keep making those lunches that come home half eaten. (That really bugs me) I will keep cleaning up after the kids. I will keep trying to get eternal messages through the thick skulls of my kids. They say that pays off too!
There is a great song out there called "I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli. It's my song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAxLTUt_qzg

It is finished

2008-09-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

OK, remember my post from last week? Remember the stress that I was enduring? Well, guess what? I stinkin' quit! That's right, quit! And I don't even feel bad. I sat in the first 3 minutes of math class and decided that I didn't want to try to catch up 10 days of work. So I walked out. I went to Chemistry. I sat through the whole class. I need to do catch up for this too since I started so late. I'm sitting there thinking about my reason for being there. There in lies the problem. I don't have a reason. I did have a reason, but then reason got in the way and that reason left me. (Are you following?) For now, the life of the college student, is not for me. Surely there is something out there for me that doesn't involve math. I'm smart enough. I can do lots of things. Darnit! There really otta' be a school for mothers utilizing all our skills and putting it in the proper lingo to get us a great paying job.

Keeping Current

2008-09-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

All my lofty promises of being a better blogger have gone by the wayside as I'm sure have my 3 faithful readers. My life has been so full these last few weeks that I must write something down lest I burst. School has started this week for the kids...and me! What kinda' crazy person finally gets the house to herself and then enrolls in college? Well, obviously me. Today, I thought I was an idiot to have done such a thing. I have to do College and Career Preparation. All that means is all those years of chomping at the bit to get out of school were largely futile. Lovely. I had to take a placement test and made it to grade 11 math. I cried through it the first time I took it. Guess what? I looked at it today, and I cried again.
Yesterday was actually the first day for me. I spent most of the day running up and down and all around to try to get into the classes that I wanted to (or thought I did!) I signed up for the Chemistry 045 (Gr. 11) and got it be in the lab. I was exited even though it was just teaching basic safety. I have very little patience when having to listen to common sense being taught, but the thrill of being in the lab made even that interesting. I have always wanted to be in the lab.
I also have to take Math 045. I like some math, but some of it is so abstract to me that, well, I cry! The class I signed up for was self-directed and very difficult since there aren't any lectures. There is a teacher there for help, but I have a feeling that she would begin to shake her head if I started asking for help in the way that I feel I need it.
Today dawns bright and beautiful and I have a sick child that needs to stay home. I have already missed about 10 days of classes because of the late start I'm getting. (Do you feel my stress level raising?) I take the kids to school and sit down to do my math. I'm looking at it and I see how simple this section is. Basically, it's refreshing what you already know. Only, I don't get it. Rational numbers? Irrational numbers? It all sound bloody irrational to me. I'm sleep deprived and I have a little person chattering to me (one that is usually not chatty) and I'm so overwhelmed that I want to quit. I know that I cannot do this. I'm not a quitter, but this is crazy.
I had a meeting with my Chemistry teacher at 10. I had to get a friend to watch the child and go to the college to pick up my materials. My teacher is a man. I started to ask him some basic questions about the importance of doing what I am doing. (My original goal of lab tech may not be something I'm willing to do because of the intensity, having a family etc.) Of all the things to do, I start to bawl. I HATE bawling in public. I don't even know this guy, I met him less than 24hours before and I'm bawling out my problems... Oh the humiliation! This must have happened before because he took it all in stride, didn't even get that funny look most men get when faced with a crying woman. He talked some sense into me and set me on a better road than Math 045. I'll be taking Math 044. Then when i am confident about that, I can move on. So tomorrow, I will once again set off for the invigorating halls of CNC, knowing that I'm not crazy, at least not entirely, and I can do this and I won't be wasting my time.

My Dear Son

2008-04-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

My dear son, Michael, is at the cusp of his teen years. His brain cells are starting to receive testosterone and, having no idea what to do with it all, they die. In the process, he is very forgetful and spacey. He regularly forgets homework, due dates and other important things. On of these things happens to be his ukulele. As a result, the boy is failing music. This is a gifted child, one who has the potential to actually make money in the music industry.
This morning I had a couple of extra hours that I was going to spend drinking tea and eating chocolate. I was looking forward to this peaceful time with all that was in me. There is yet another Pro D day at school tomorrow so there was an extra push to have peace and quiet time. I took the kids to school early and couldn't wait for the van door to close behind them. As Michael is getting out of the van, he remembers today is Thursday, a ukulele day. The bottom sorta drops out of his day. He had just been given a talking to about failing etc. So I said the typical lecture-y things they never listen to and drive away. Since I'm not a fierce as I'd like to think I am, I went home and got his ukulele and took it to him. (Incidental, another mom did the same thing twice this week!) He was never so happy to see me in his life. I took him a mocha too because I thought he needed something special to get him through today.
My tea time never actually materialized. I had to go pick up Paul too. As I was getting ready to go to work, I grabbed the towel to wipe the steam off the bathroom mirror. As I looked up at the mirror, I saw a note that had been written for me this morning. "We love you, Mom" had been written in the steam even before we left for school. This message was such a treat for me. I never did wipe off the mirror. I can't wait to read it again next time I shower. It is a quiet reminder to me to take a moment and remember the little things.

Ravelry Rocks

2008-04-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

Every now and again, I get bored with the usual haunts on the web. Facebook is great but there's only so much info one can absorb and I'm really tired of the applications. I get tired of clicking on 'ignore' when invited and the little twinge of guilt when I ignore my friends. Sorry guys, but it's true. Ringo is so last season and I'm tired of the offensive advertising. Besides it is really slow and facebook can do everything ringo can.
Knitting is my other passion/obsession. Recently, I have discovered Ravelry. It is a site designed for knitters and crocheters. I can look all day and NEVER reach the end. There are so many things to click on and those things open up even more things to click on! Yippee!
So all you people out there, send me your 'on line time wasters' and see if I can join the madness!

"Honours"

2008-02-25T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what the word 'Honours' means to you, but to me it has a whole new connotation. My son (11) and I sang at the Music Festival. What an experience! We had chosen 'Pie Jesu' from Requim by A. L. Webber with the help of Michael's choir teacher. We worked on it for only nine days. We weren't being slack, it was just the time frame we had to work with.

After nine days we performed in front of competitors, teachers and their families. We had to introduce ourselves and Michael baled on me so I did it. The thing is, I don't speak in front of people. I think I could sing in Carnegie Hall, but just don't ask me to speak. So I introduced us and the adjudicator asked what our relationship to each other was. You'd think admitting that he was my son would fill me with pride and it does for sure. It also fills me with tears when I'm in front of people. Crap! The music has started and I'm almost losin' it. I'm suppose to look like a professional or at least have some modicum of decorum. Now I'm worrying about the drip I'm sure is hangin' on the end of my nose! With many quick prayers sent heavenward, I managed to sing and get in the groove.

If I may say myself, Astounding! I am blown away with the gift my son has. The church we were in was an old one, and full of wood. The resonance was superior by far to any electrically amplified music. For all our efforts we were given 'Honours'. Many in the room were brought to tears. Even the adjudicator was short on comments. She told me to get Michael's voice recorded before it changes.

Since then, we have performed again at a Gala and have been asked to perform another song at Christmas time. Now, if he voice doesn't change we may have a career...

Neglect

2008-02-19T12:51:00.000-08:00

To all my loyal readers that still wander back to see if I have posted anything, here it is! Spring is finally on it's way. The sun shines regularly and actually throws off some heat. Life is extremely busy right now. The music festival is next week and preparations are adding an extra busyness to my life. This year I am taking a step back into the festival. When I was in school, I sang in the festival. Now this year I have the opportunity to sing with my son Michael. He has a beautiful voice and loves to use it. Together we will be singing, Pie Jesu from Requiem by A. L. Webber. I will try to post the performance if I can. I'm really excited and terribly nervous, wondering if we will be able to pull it off. Pray for us!!
I have found a piano!!! With in a week we will be able to actually play and teach my kids, or have someone else teach them! I got it for a great price and moving it will be a challenge but still a great deal. Can't wait!
My busy life is calling me again! Later!!

2008-01-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

I shake my head realizing that I sat down to write this letter about two hours ago! My, time flies when I get distracted on Facebook. It’s all those games of Scrabulous that I work so hard to lose!

Merry Christmas everyone! I am really enjoying this season more than I remember in the past few years. Maybe that is because for the first time in years I have headspace. My children are all in school full time now and it has been a wonderful experience for all of us.

We are coming out of a deep freeze. For the past week or two in has been between –25 to –30 degrees. We have the most beautiful snow and I hope it stays for Christmas. For the last two years we haven’t had any snow at Christmas so I’m hoping for this year.

This week we are busy preparing for the Christmas program. We are so blessed to have a Christmas program that actually shares the story of Christ’s birth. This is Michael’s last year to be involved and then he’ll be in Junior High. (GASP!) It is definitely a highlight of the program when our son sings. He has a gift and still loves to sing. His voice soars with crystal clarity and gives me the chills.

Aside from preparing for Christmas, Michael is busy in grade six. This year he started playing volleyball and was the season’s most improved player. He works really hard and will become a good player. In September, he started Tae Kwon Do and loves it. It has been very good for him on many levels. I have found that making him do push-ups for sassing me works well. So Tae Kwon Do has been helpful for me too! He is a fantastic kid.

Adriana is in grade four and working really hard. She started gymnastics last February recreationally and was asked to do Interclub. (Sort of between competitive and recreational) In September she started Interclub and has progressed at a rapid pace. She has achieved three badges and is working on her fourth in one session. That is huge. In February she has been asked by her coach to do a pre-competitive class where they up the training and expect harder work. She has yet to be disinterested and her coach says that she is quite competitive. Every time the bar is set higher by her teammates, she goes for it. She is still as sweet as ever.

The precocious twins are almost seven! Can you believe it? I can hardly believe/remember it! School is a great and they quite enjoy it. They are working very hard. Bless the teacher, she has her hands full of rambunctious boys and a few girls that are right in there too. They have yet to join any extra-curricular activity. I can’t figure out how I can get them all in a different direction at the same time! Jonathan really wants to learn Hip-Hop dance. If we ever sign him up he’ll be good at it! Jamison has yet to show a real interest in any one activity. He loves to draw and will spend hours drawing with great detail. The two on them still keep my head spinning in circles.

Paul is working very hard in Fort Nelson. He is working as a Heavy Duty Mechanic. While he doesn’t necessarily enjoy the work, it is going well. He misses us and we miss him. He is home one week a month and that week is really great. He loves the area around Ft. Nelly, not that he gets out very much! He works really hard and then comes home and sleeps for a whole day!

Between bussing the kids to school and all their activities I have still managed to have fun for me! I play badminton twice a week with ladies ranging from 29 to 84 years old. (Maybe three of us are under 45) It is surprisingly tough! What the seniors lack in agility they make up for in cunning. I will NEVER say “sweet” and “little old lady” in the same sentence again! I was attempting to go back to school this fall. Our local college has a lab technologist course that I’d love to take. I basically have to redo grades 11 and 12. I am finding it difficult to fit that into my life. The fun is getting in the way! There are so many things that I need to do. We are hoping to sell our house in the spring and buy something farther out of town and more to our needs. Just getting the house painted could take me until spring!

I hope this Christmas season finds you well and filled with all the wonderful treasures of the season. Take time to slow down and spend it with those you love. Love and laugh more than you have all year. When you feast, throw your heart into it.
Love the Minard Family, Paul, Kelly, Michael, Adriana, Jonathan and Jamison. (Jake the dog and Bandit the cat)

Road Rage!

2007-11-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

Road Rage is a funny thing. I suffer from it regularly. Yet when I see the flipping of hands and contorted lips of the guy in front of me, I feel quite self-righteous about the fact that I, unlike the guy in front of me, am keeping it cool. Good me. (Help me pat myself on the back here!) Jerry Seinfeld made a comment about when people purchase a car they think they buy the 50 feet in front of it too. Funny, it really resonated with me. When I still ran the daycare the little girl in my care would go home with her mom and at every green light would yell, "Go, go, go" and it wasn't because I was teaching her her colors! My son, when he was quite a bit younger was with Omi one day and yells, "It's not getting any greener!". Maybe I've had this problem for awhile! OK so maybe it isn't a "maybe". I was thinking yesterday while I'm driving on slippery roads feeling very superior about the fact that I have remembered to change my tires before the roads got bad (For the first time ever), that for lent (whenever that is) that I shall give up my aggressive driving. ( sorry for the run-on sentence) I shall abide by the speed limit and be patient with the idiots in front of me. I might even stop calling them idiots, but that isn't likely! Some have earned that title and it wouldn't be fair to take it away from them! Lent is 30 -40 days or something I think. Maybe I'll start with one day. I'll pick a day that I only have to go out once so I'll be able to restrain myself. Maybe I'll do it on a Sunday morning before anyone else is on the road....

Thanksgiving Weekend

2007-10-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving comes during the most wonderful time of year. Somehow a tradition started a few years ago. I think the twins were 2 1/2 the first time we went to my sister's for the weekend. Maybe it was the last trip we could take before the roads turned bad. Whatever the reason for starting was, we have all kinds of reasons to keep the tradition going.

I live in the middle of the city, right on the brink of the "hood". Not a day goes by that I don't see hookers and druggies. I'm raising my kids here. When I was a kid I had no idea what a hooker was and I certainly wouldn't have recognized one if I saw one. My kids regularly tell me about a girl on the corner. Not an ideal situation to raise kids.

My sister lives on ten acres in the middle of farmland Alberta. It is very quiet there. The only noise you can hear are the quads roaring home at the end of the day. A far cry different from my lovely little home.

So we hop into our cool little mini van and burn our way across the province. Armed with a DVD player and 11 DVDs, we set out. We travel though some very beautiful country with varying amounts of snow and I realize that we are not prepared for all weather. As a northern girl, I should be better prepared! Six hours later we arrived at my sister's house. SIX INCHES of fresh snow! I am wearing clogs and bare legs. Really, I should know better.

They have spent the last two years building a beautiful home and I do mean home. It is so welcoming and well decorated. They had just had their topsoil levelled and spread over the yard. That being translated means mix dirt and snow and you get mud. Not just any old mud but the clay kind that sticks to boots and little children like glue. Seven kids all covered in mud, oh and two dogs too.

We were free from the business of life in the city. I didn't even have access to the Internet. (Not because they are backward, but because Telus has no service to speak of.) So no TV, no Internet, no traffic rushing by. So tranquil. We sent the kids outside and they went away for hours. Periodic checks out the window assured us they were still alive.

For five days we enjoyed country living. In typical "Michelle" fashion, we were very well fed. Thanksgiving dinner was a fresh turkey raised in a farm setting, not commercially prepared. Nothing makes better gravy. More food then we thought we could polish off magically disappeared.

I needed to return to the city and my home. I'm still enjoying the benefits of a country holiday and I hope to for quite some time.

New Life

2007-09-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

If I have any readers left, please accept my apology for the neglect. I haven't been feeling very inspired and my life doesn't seem as tragic or something. I am finally free. My children are all in school now and I am trying to adjust to my new life. I think I smile all day and go our lots. My goal for next week is to stay home and get things done. We'll see!

School is going well. Tae Kwon Do has started for one child and gymnastics and dance will start tomorrow for the other one. The little two are still waiting for their activity. I can't seem to find a good fit for them and me. Maybe we'll just do swim lessons for them this year and they can wait until they're older for the extra things. I seem to be on the road all afternoon as it is now.

I am starting school next week. I'm not sure yet how many years I'll have to re-do. The placement test wasn't as scary as I thought. I know I have to do Math 12, English 12, Biology 12, and chemistry 11 and 12. Oh my sucky schooling. Or maybe it is my lofty aspirations! Maybe I should just be a mom... nah! That's not that fun. My brain needs to be used. It is amazing how quickly some of the basics come back when you refresh.

For now, I drink tea, coffee go for lunch....whatever.

Good Fellowship

2007-08-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday. The day when dedicated people drag their butts outta bed to go to church. I had volunteered to be a greeter for the K -2 Sunday school class so for today, I was dedicated! After I was finished my duties, I went to the "little girls room" for a quick trip before I went to the service. In there I saw my friend who is going through chemo with her mom-in-law. She was having a moment and we decided to talk about lighter subjects in the "Westwood Cafe", our church's coffee corner. We very rarely get to catch up due to the busyness of our lives (mostly hers). I must say that I needed that more than I needed to go to church. (Sorry Mel!) Adult conversation is as rare as ... hens teeth around here. I'm really feeling the end of summer and so are the kids. We are a little short tempered with each other. The weather hasn't been great and my energy has been low. In short, WE ARE READY FOR SCHOOL!!! I do believe that after this morning's fellowship I will make it!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Service

2007-08-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

I want out for lunch today. I rarely go to a real restaurant for various reasons, but today I went for lunch. It was a local pannakoken house that recently changed hands. They are usually a very busy place on Sundays after church. (Just so you know, it is a pet peeve of mine when people criticize wait staff just for the heck of it. If your not willing to do it yourself, don't complain about someone else doing it. All this is with the exception of really poor service involving bad manners and uncleanliness.) In this restaurant my favorite meal is the Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict. This is served with hash browns and of all things salad. I went with two friends who are use to the waitress basically placing their order as soon as they walk in the door. That waitress no longer works there so for them the service was poor from the get go. I was teasing them a bit about not being pleased at the service or lack thereof. I should know better than to do that because it always comes back to bite me in the butt. Well, I ordered coffee from the regular waitress not the drinks waitress. It never showed up. Finally I reordered and it showed up right before my food did. My food was cold. Since I would rather eat warm eggs than microwaved rubberized eggs, I just kept eating. Until I got to the yolk. Now when you order a hard yolk, you should get a hard yolk, runny yolks are sickening. I cut into my yolk and it ran all over my plate. Yuk! I had to complain. It was too much. The second one was good but the damage was done. I was ready to complain. We didn't get any service at all. Our coffee and water wasn't refilled unless we asked and that was only after Heather went to complain IN the kitchen. We didn't tip. The chick who was taking our money was slow with the change hoping we'd say she could keep it. Surprisingly, none of us left a tip. If you deserve a tip, I'll give you one. I think I'll write a review for the local paper. I wonder if anyone would read it...

Opps!

2007-07-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

I thought I had written about my injury here and sent people here only to find it was my imagination! Sorry! OK the injury wasn't heroic and possibly even stupid. I wrote about it somewhere and haven't a clue where. Old age creeping up on me.
I went to my soccer game and when I got out of the van, I wrenched my ankle. Cleats are great on grass, not so great on pavement. SO it hurt but I walked it off. ( Maybe slightly heroic!) I then played a hard game with no spares. Meaning I played a solid 80 minutes of soccer. ( Again the heroics!) My right foot was stomped on no less than 3 times and I'm sure the left one was kicked more than once. Game over. On the way back to the van, I turned the same ankle again! As if it didn't hurt enough the first time! This was the night before we were suppose to leave for holidays. I made it home and was sore but didn't think it was worse than any other hard game. Within an hour I was in agony. I could hardly move and I was biting off Paul's head for moving even slightly and jostling me. I was on crutches for a whole day. Then I was good. Homeopathic remedies work really fast. So now I've had a real injury. Crutches and everything!

Vacation?

2007-07-10T11:51:00.000-07:00

Here I am in Ft. Nelson, BC. I came up here to visit my Hunny and pick up the trailer that he is making for us so we can take more than our kids on vacation with us. You know things like a tent, cook stove and food. Nothing major, just essential. When I bought the van I wasn't thinking about going places and so I bought a Caravan rather than a Grand Caravan. It's amazing what you can't do without the Grand. So on the way up here I stopped to visit Aunty Sheesh for the night. The kids wondered at her name, asked if she was angry all the time. Sheesh! I said whatever gave you that idea! It isn't the greatest idea to stay up late taking to old friends before a 4 hour drive through nothing, They really should put a Tim Horton's somewhere between Ft. St. John and Ft. Nelson. I bought myself arguable the worst cup of coffee in Pink Mountain. Where is Pink Mtn? Well, kinda nowhere. It was suffer though a horrid coffee or risk the lives of my children as I took a brief nap while driving. Yes, Mom, I was careful! We arrive safe and sound. We are staying at some one's empty house in a beautiful location. There is a beautiful view and peace and quiet. Something we don't get to enjoy in Prince George. Oh, and the air is fresh. There are horses that Adriana is thrilled with and we are still hoping to get to go riding. She drops hints every day. When we arrived, Jonathan got pretty sick and was sick for the next 24 hours or so. He got better and then it was Jamison's turn. He is still recovering and I'm waiting for the next one! As a result, my sister doesn't necessarily want us to come visit her. Not that I blame her. It looks like I'm not leaving here until Saturday. If I go crazy and the trailer is done I might leave. If I wait until Saturday, Paul can come home with me and I won't have to drive 10 hours by myself. Despite it's isolation or maybe because of it, I am relaxing and don't seem to be in any rush to return to my home in the middle of a stinky city. It's a tough call, well not really. I need to deck of cards and the kids need their bikes and we'd be set for awhile. Don't worry Barbara, we will be home soon. And no, we still aren't moving, at least for the winter...

Ramblings of a Homemaker

2007-06-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here alone (again), watching the brilliant lightning and having the thunder startle me out of my skin. I ponder my future. My life will be at an odd place in the fall. I will have 6 hours per day to myself. Yes, I will still need to manage my home and family but that won't take all that time and I will get very bored if I don't use my mind. You can only go for so many coffee's and lunches before it would fail to stimulate. Options are a weird thing. How exactly does one deal with them? I don't enjoy making life changing decisions. I don't want to waste time or money. That adds it's own pressure. You'd think by now I'd know what I'd want to be when I grew up! I do sort of, but I have a priority in my kids. Eight years of University is out of the question. I'd love to become an amature athlete, not much money in it though!
I have some options, I could go to the college and study human kinetics. I would like to take anatomy and physiology and chemistry. Biokinesionics is really fascinating too! I'm sure you can see my dilemma. Do I have what it takes to be a mom and full or even part time student? Why can't they have dance or gymnastics for mom's during the day while the kids are at school? I think for now I'll just watch the storm and leave the thinking for another day.

To My "Anonymous Commentor"

2007-06-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

OK lay on the guilt. I haven't had any inspiration as of late but I have been feeling how neglectful I have been. Yes, I have been breathing and surprisingly, ranting to 'real' people! Spring is here and I have been spending a lot of time outside and school is really busy. Paul was home late week and we thatched, aerated and seeded our lawn. He was very industrious. It was really sunny and hot. Now it is really cold and rainy. I will be writing later on. It isn't good to write when I'm uninspired. It's really hard on my reputation!

Solved!

2007-04-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Here it is! My Discipline Problem solved! This is a shawl that I knitted for my mom. I've been working on this off and on since October. She doesn't want to call it a shawl and the pattern actually called it a "cozy" so it is her cozy. In the first picture I am 'blocking' it. Basically steaming it and letting it dry completely so it keeps the right shape. Second is Mom modeling her cozy. It is made out of a lovely alpaca silk blend. Very smooth and yummy feeling. I got the pattern off of knitty.com. Defiantly one of my favorite sites. I didn't take a detail shot of it lacy pattern but it is really pretty. You can see the detail on the "cover" of the Fall '04 Issue # 9 of knitty.com. Thanks Danielle for designing it! BW

Discipline

2007-04-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. A discipline problem. I wish a simple spanking would fix it. You see the problem is ME! I should be knitting. I need to finish my mom's birthday present. I gave it to her on her birthday and need to finish it by Wednesday of next week. It is this darned computer. I can space out playing games and watching TV rather than being productive. What a bum. You see, I bought the kids these stuffies called 'Webkinz'. There is a website that has games that I can play and since I can sit here on the couch and play, I can do it all night. I can 'earn' kinzcash. Then the kids can spend the cash on food and clothing for the virtual version of their pet. It can be addicting. One good thing is every night about this time they shut down to do maintenance on their site. Rather than picking up my knitting and being productive, I'm blogging! Man, I sound like I really need help! AAAARRRRGGGG! Don't turn me in yet, I still need to finish mom's shawl!

Spring Break

2007-04-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hello my loyal reader/s! Life has been either busy or boring, it's up to you to decide. Spring break is here and almost over. I must say, school is looking better and better every day. Last week we went to see my parents and hopefully ski. Well, the first day we were there it was -22 on the hill so we didn't go. Tuesday was about the same. Wednesday was a busy day for me so I couldn't ski that day. Thursday we finally went. Visibility was minimal and skiing was expensive. I bought equipment and bunny hill tickets for Michael and Jonathan. Dad and Connie (his sister) helped them ski. Michael finally was getting the feel of it by the end of the day. It was thrilling Thursday on the hill so we got free appies and Michael won a draw and got a free 'Rayz' tee shirt and a lanyard. It topped his day off! I must admit, it was exciting.
Friday I was planning on staying since Paul wasn't due home until Sunday. Around 2:00 pm I get a call at mom's and it's Paul. He had come home early and was going to surprise me and I wasn't even there. So we packed up in about an hour and were home by 7:30. It was good to be home for sure.
Paul took me out for supper on Monday night. He even went to a shusi bar just for me! That is a really big thing for him. He doesn't see what is the big deal about eating raw fish on tasteless rice wrapped in seaweed! Put that way I understand, but I still really like it!
Not much has happened since then. We went to look at pianos and found a great deal but ... arrrggg! I need to win the lottery! Tough thing to do since I haven't bought a ticket! I keep hoping for a rrrrroll up the rrrrim!

Remembering Karen

2007-03-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Today I went to a funeral for a friend. I haven't been to a funeral in probably 10+ years. I must say I'm glad I haven't been busy in the funeral department. I had to phone my parents for funeral etiquette. As far as funerals go it was good. Karen lived her life in an inspirational manner. Eight years ago when her son was 3 years old and her new born daughter was 2 weeks old, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. With treatment she beat that one and was doing well for a number of years to my knowledge. Then about a year and a half ago they found that it had returned. This time it couldn't be beat. She fought a good fight and passed away on Monday. Her life was an excellent example of not wallowing in misery. She was all about getting the best out of life and serving her friends. I know lots of people say nice things at funerals. " Don't speak ill of the dead" and all that. But I knew Karen and even before I was aware that she had a tumor, I still would have said this about her. Please pray for her husband and children. They too have had a long battle and now they have to face life without their wife and mom. I'm not sad for Karen, for she truly is in a better place that she was well prepared for. My heart breaks for her children. Rusty is a great Dad and will do well, but there is nothing like a mom and the soft place she creates for her family. Among the many verses on hope and encouragement the Karen had underlined was Romans 15:13 'May the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit'

My life today

2007-03-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling inspired to write and I almost had something to talk about. I'm almost completely finished my Celtic poncho. I made the knot and I sewed it all on... and it was CROOKED!!!!! SO I cut it all off and will go visit my knitting person tomorrow. Maybe then I will be able to post with all the enthusiasm I can muster.
As for now, I am going to rant...about something as trivial as TV. American Idol and the ungifted American public! They insist on sending gifted singers home in favor of a kid who CANNOT sing and perform. Sorry Sanjiaha (sp?), the only reason you are still there is your looks. They would appeal to the pre-pubescent girls who actually have the time to sit and vote repeatedly. Now if they vote Melinda Doolittle off in favor of a foppish wannabe, I will be assured of American ignorance for ever.
Yes Michelle, I know that the outcome will have no baring on my life, but it is music and I do have an opinion! And it's my blog and ..... whatever! It's hard to argue my point when I'm only listening to to voices in my head.
Last week was music festival. As usual, when I hear my son sing, I cry. He is so gifted. He absolutely loves to perform too. Their choir received distinction. They usually do, their director is fantastic. Adriana's choir received distinction too. She is so funny! She doesn't pay a lick of attention until she is on stage and then she behaves perfectly! Hmmm, I wonder where that comes from. I believe her voice will develop beautifully also. Miss Loewn is among the best in BC and she really works the kids over properly and makes them use the proper voice. Not to compare but... listening to the other junior choirs and then listening to ours... they are worlds apart.
Until next time, which will be soon, this is my rant for today. I hope to update you on my knitting soon. Bellywoman.

Checking in

2007-03-09T21:21:00.000-08:00

It has been eight days since my last confession... OK that struck me funny, just humor me! On Monday I went for the sixth Monday with children at home. After I thought about it, I'm not really sure she needed to stay home. Finally on Tuesday, I was alone. YYyyyeeeeeaaaa! I went for coffee with a friend and I tried on about ten pairs of jeans and get this, they were all too big! A big plus for being really sick for a week! I also cut my hair. I got about four inches taken off and then a bunch of layers added. I like it. My hair had just gotten too long and heavy and lank. It was so healthy after I got it cut and today I went to the pool so now it is dry. WWwwaaahhh!
My family is here for the weekend. I am having so much fun. Brian and Paul are missing and I think they would like to be here. We went to the pool at the hotel and the kids were good and tired. Then we came home and made pizza. It was really good. Aunty Connie gave the twins a mega block race car. In lieu of a Dad I had to help them put it together. By the time it was done, it was 9:00 pm. Yikes! I hope they can handle everything tomorrow. It will be day 3 with the cousins and that is usually the limit before things start to fall apart. Hopefully we will be able to make it until Sunday before everything falls apart.
I hope you enjoyed this little tidbit of my life. My regular reader is here so please leave me a comment, just so I don't feel like nobody cares! Kidding, but I do love comments!

Pity Party

2007-03-01T21:10:00.000-08:00

Today I was in a funk. I like that word. Regardless, I was in one. All day I was short tempered. Jamison stayed home AGAIN. Not that I blamed him, I was just ticked. I spent the day wondering , 'Why me?' Really, why not me. I have been very blessed by friends while I have been sick, and while not completely better, I am definitely able to do the basics. Diane brought a huge crock pot full of chili which the kids never complained one bit about. (Usually it's too hot). I had to pick up Jonathan at 3:00. He wasn't waiting where I told him to which I really wasn't surprised at since I've never told him to wait there before. Then I had to go back to the school at 4:30 to pick up the older two. They were with a choral director who was testing and giving pointers. They didn't let out until 4:45. We had to be at Vanier Hall at 6:15 to a showcase for the local school choirs. Well, we get home and wouldn't you know it, Michael got sick. Welcome a new symptom. This time a stomach thing. Yea. I rushed around trying to find someone to take Adriana. Well, she was crying because she wanted me to go with her. Reasonably enough. Finally, I got a sitter and we girls went. It was great and I must say our choir was the best. Poor Michael missed it ( he really like choir too). He was hucking. I had resolved my pity party and was waiting for the choir to start and a friend came to sit beside me. We got talking and she told me about an acquaintance who's children have been very ill. She almost lost her 6 year old to pneumonia 3 times and her older girl got scarlet fever and it damaged her ankle so for the next 4 years she will be on a walker. The mom is Bi-polar and all the stress has thrown her meds off and now she is really not doing well. Suddenly my life looks great. My children are healthy and I have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for myself about. So, tonight I realise God wasn't ignoring me, I was being self-absorbed. Now. I've fixed that problem and I so am thankful for my healthy family.

Ramblings

2007-02-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

Today I spent flat on my back sick as a dog. All the kids have had this flu I think and now it is my turn. I don't know where I'd be without good friends. One friend picked up the kids from school. Another brought home subs from Subway for the kids for supper. She also took the kids to the Science Fair at school. Michael got a participant ribbon again and finally I have seen him wanting more. I see today just how great my kids are. Last night they were so helpful and tried to take care of me. Today it was every kid for himself. I couldn't feed the kids so it was whatever they could find. Jamison stayed home again today and took care of me. He is so cute and loving. He got all ready for school today and fell apart at the door. So I had company which I needed! My mom phoned too any commiserated briefly before going skiing! I'm seriously looking forward to this flu season to be over. We have been sick off and on again for almost six weeks so I'm really hoping this is over soon. Just today, I have used a whole roll of TP just blowing my nose. Yes, tissue would be softer on my nose but I forgot to buy some and now my poor nose is a nose in need indeed!

Glorious Marmot Basin

2007-02-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

One really good way to break up the winter blues is to have a ski trip. My Aunt Connie was on a ski trip with her ski club from Nova Scotia. They went to Banff to ski the slopes there. My sister, Michelle was going to meet her in Jasper to take her home to spend time with Michelle's family. They decided to make it into a ski trip and invited me. Lucky me! My kids were still sick but Wonderful Heather and Fabulous Barbara took care of them anyway. Poor Barbara is now sick and I'm sorry, but not so sorry that I wish I'da stayed home!
I arrived in Jasper Tuesday evening and met Michelle. Together we waited for Connie. Once Connie arrived we had a toast to a wonderful holiday, of course! We went to dinner and laughed our heads off.
Wednesday started at 6:30ish. After an hour of watching dear aunty lookin' for her gloves, we went for a quick breakfast. Well, it could have been quick, I was fast but Connie and Michelle had to sip their coffee. It's been established that I have psychey scars about sitting at a table doing nothing! We made it to the mountain by about 9:00. After gearing up we hit the slopes. It had been 11 years since I skied last. Wow was that fun! It's kinda like riding a bike, it comes back pretty quick. We ski all day long and we still had to peel Michelle off the slopes. "Just one more run!"
That night we went to Jasper Lodge for dinner. I was completely unprepared. I was going on a ski trip so I packed for a ski trip. Most of my makeup was at home and so was my hair care. I was ski-ing, not looking good. Lucky for me I had thrown my black cords in the suitcase just in case. Jasper Lodge is definitely upper crust. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe my feelings before I relaxed a bit. It had been ages since I've been in a situation like that. They put my napkin on my lap for cryin' out loud! After the wine began to take effect, I adjusted to the situation and enjoyed myself immensely.
Thursday was even more fun. I went on more challenging runs and conquered the mountain. Connie did trick me into one run. Although she will probably deny any memory of it, she told me that a black diamond run was a blue one. It was well worth it and definitely one of the best runs of the day. One of the chairs was so high above the ground I was freaking out. I skied until my legs threatened to give out. We started at the top and didn't stop until the bottom. What a rush!
Friday morning was sunny and crystal clear. The temptation to stay another day was strong. We had breakfast and parted ways. It was a long drive and I must say I'm glad for the rumble strips on the road side. (No Mom, you doing have to worry, I wouldn't have hit the ditch.) I was very glad to see the kids again. After the twins realized that the rules still existed and stopped pushing my buttons we were happily existing in peace. Well, as much peace as can exist in a small house with 4 kids!

Sick of sick!

2007-02-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

ARRRRRRRGGGGG!! This is my rant and I can rant if I want to! This is the fourth, yes fourth Monday that I've had sick kids at home! I'm supposed to go skiing tomorrow and meet my sister, the loyal reader, and my Tante Connie. AArrrrgggg! I want to have somebody else cook for me and clean up the bathroom after me. I Like Mondays. It is a day to move about freely without tripping over kids. I can clean and go shopping. I have one pair of pants, one. They are so worn out that I fear breakage when putting them on. I have returned 4 pairs because the darn company isn't consistent with their sizes. Yes it is them, not me! Today I was gonna go buy a pair of jeans before I go to Jasper. Oh well, I guess my snow pants will cover a multitude! I am truly grateful for the possibility of next Monday. No, I'm not wishing my life away but without hope, I would probably flip my bean for real!

My Valentine

2007-02-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day my reader! (Michelle!) Today is a busy day for school moms. My duty was to make heart shaped Jello Jigglers. Not to difficult which was good since I don't remember volunteering. One batch flopped. How you can screw up jello is beyond me but I can! My oldest was home sick and the twins were on a day off. They were thrilled to see the leftovers from Adriana's classes Jigglers. In the bowl full of waste were some hearts that kinda flopped from the first batch. Jonathan was eating them and teasing me by bringing them to me and then gobbling them down. Little Brat! I thought he had a change of heart when he brought me one and actually gave it to me. What a sweet child, now I remember why I had so many. Aaawwww! As I pop the Jello symbol of love into my mouth, he starts to giggle. "I licked it first Mom!" he says as he runs as fast as he could to hide behind his Dad. Dad was ever so proud of his son, too! Some days I wonder what I ever did to deserve soooo many wonderful, mischievous little boys. So next time you accept a 'loving' gift from your little boys, think twice before popping anything into your mouth!

Missing

2007-02-03T20:18:00.000-08:00

Nothing is really missing, just my mind. But then what 's changed?! My dear sister has been nagging me to post again so this is for her! I must have been busy for the last two weeks since I didn't really have time to waste writing a blog. Paul was home for one week and the computer took it's rightful place. Every time I turned around this week something didn't go the way I planned. No surprise there. Monday, a day I personally look forward to, I had a child home sick. Tuesday I was driving on a field trip and I finished a project I've been working on since May. (More on that later) Wednesday morning I awoke to a chilly house. Not really anything out of the ordinary so I just flipped the thermostat and nothing happened. Hhhmmm, great, two kids to get off to school and I have to figure out why we have no heat. I poked and prodded around and couldn't find what was wrong. Called a friend over and he couldn't find anything either. So I had to call the pros. The twins and I were freezing our little butts off, we could actually see our breath. Finally they came and two hours later we had heat. I am very thankful for a few things. This could have happened when it was minus 30 instead of minus 16. The other thing is it was still warranty! Yea! All the repairman said was I didn't want to see the bill. I think I'll take him at his word. The rest of the week was relatively uneventful. Which was good. Today we are all sick. Now that's fun!

Cross Country Skiing

2007-01-16T21:23:00.000-08:00

It's fun being a school mom. Today we had a field trip to the local cross country ski trails. What a day! The sun was shining. The air was crisp. The company was fantastic. It's not often that I get to spend time with my first born. So many other things and kids demand my time. The ski club provided lessons for all levels. Michael was thrilled to be in the intermediate class. I was really impressed with his attitude. He didn't enjoy going up the hills, but he didn't complain as I kind of expected him to do. He did a fantastic wipe out at the bottom of a hill and got up laughing! When did my little boy grow up? How was I blessed with an awesome kid? Now, he is eager to sign up for ski lessons and he's got his little brother on board! It's a good thing Dad's got all those extra hours of over-time! Kidding, mostly! Today was a day of memories, Michael's and mine. This will be one of those day he looks back on and remembers when he has his own little kids that he is dragging around a field! I thought a lot about my Mom today. I have my own memories of skiing with her and I often wonder why she put up with my whining and bawling. If her reason was to instill a love for winter sports in me so I would spend today with my son, it was worth it. Thanks Mom!

Coasting

2007-01-14T19:14:00.000-08:00

Today was a perfect day to go sledding. After church we came home for lunch and an attempt at a nap for me which failed miserably! Not that you care but ... Anyway, so off we go. There is a great hill not to far from us. It was around minus eight or so and a light snow was falling. We had about six inches of fresh powder. It was perfect. We played for about a hour. I only went down once, but what a once it was! I went forever. Then I called Jake the dog down the hill to me. Barbara was hanging on the leash and didn't let go! He must have dragged her about 20 feet or more. She said it was a blast! Maybe it was or maybe she was trying to trick me into trying it! Now we have two in bed and two to go. We have that delicious stundness that only comes from playing out in the snow. I don't even think the remaining two will make it for the traditional viewing of AFV. What a great way to spend the day!

Twins birthday cakes

2007-01-11T16:46:00.000-08:00

Here are the cakes! I was very happy with how they turned out. I had sparklers and candles sticking out the end of the rocket. It looked very cool but I couldn't get a picture. I had sparklers in the cannon holes of the ship too. That is about it for the artistic bent in me for now.

Happy Birthday Boys!

2007-01-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

Today my babies turned 6! What a day! They woke me up with a bang. No seriously, they have this infernal habit of slamming their bathroom door about 30 minutes before I need to wake up. Well, I guess it provides me the opportunity to wake up and make a decision to be cheerful anyway. They didn't have school today and were quite happy to play with their new Transformers.
I made them a pirate cake which I will post a picture when I figure out how! They chose lasagna for supper, Paul will be thrilled. Our good friends, Barbara and Heather will be joining us for dinner. Good times.
Mostly, I can't wait until bedtime. But first I need to go to the church to practise for Sunday morning. There is no rest for the wicked! Maybe tonight I will go to bed at a decent hour so I won't have to drag my butt around. Maybe I can get out in the crisp, -30 degree weather and walk the poor dog. But then there is that gift certificate for the spa... hmmm, such decisions! There's also the class cake to make for the twins... so much for the spa! That cake will be a space ship that goes along with the unit this month.
The kids are all sleeping peacefully and I am headed there too. Night everyone.

Post Script

2007-01-08T21:58:00.000-08:00

To all you caring folks out there, yes the camera survived. Incidentally, so did the children!

Kids and Camera

2007-01-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight the kids were getting sillier and sillier and would NOT listen. Of course things culminated in the camera, yes the new digital camera that's not even a month old, flying across the room and landing on the hardwood floor. I lost it! Bonified lost it. Joyce Meyer be darned! I yelled and ranted. Frustrated doesn't even begin to discribe my feelings! The offending party, as in the one who batted it out of the other's hand, was banished to await he's just desserts. Then as I was letting the conditions for life in my house be known to the rest, another party decided that I looked and sounded funny. He laughed. Never laugh at a ranting woman unless you are her husband whom she truely loves and it is for her benefit. If you are other than her husband and someone over who she has some authority you are in dire straites indeed. Funny, now the house is rather quiet and when I speak at least two kids listen and obey without question!

Introduction

2007-01-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

This is my opening blog. I'm sure it should be something intellegent that invites you to come read the next installment. In fact, it should have you waiting for the next posting with abaited breath. Alas and alack, I'm not too sure what I am doing here so it is a sample post. I wouldn't want to waste too much wit on something that I am unsure how it will turn out. So for now I am signing off to see how things work out.